How does calling fear
of abandonment an illness
make things worse?
is that you have a brain that loves you and is vigilant about looking after you. It just gets a little carried away!
I promise…if you work WITH your brain, it will work with you. Your brain wants to help your fear of abandonment, so help your brain to help you.
Now... Shall we begin?
To be courageous, start by getting more clarity about your own fears.
1. Fill in the blank:
“I know that I have fear of abandonment (or abandonment issues) because I:
(Describe what triggers your fear of abandonment and how you react, anything you do -or avoid doing- because of your fears and issues.)
~Is your fear triggered by new beginnings? A new job, relationship? Meeting new people, being in new situations? Are you afraid to be self‑assertive? (weak Wood Element)
~Is your fear triggered by intimacy? Sexuality? Feeling
unsafe and unprotected? Being controlled? Losing control?
Do you fear social situations? Do you fear communication?
(weak Fire Element)
~Do you have fears about your survival? Food, water,
clothing, housing? Do you fear being unsupported?
(weak Earth Element)
~Are you afraid of failure, humiliation, embarrassment?
Being "wrong"? Is it difficult for you to be authentic? Are
you afraid that you will do the wrong actions? Are you
confused about what is true and right?
(weak Metal Element)
~And finally, are you afraid of fear? Does fear steal your
calm or make you unable to face your life? Do you lose
clarity? Do you have a "fear program" that runs (ruins)
your life and disables your ability to move forward with
(weak Water Element)
2. Write about times when you felt abandoned. This might be something like your mother being away for a while. There may be times you don't remember but heard about - a stay in a hospital, for example, when you were very young.
3. Be honest about what kind of emotional environment you were born into. Read this important article about the brain and depression and our earliest memories.
Learn how your brain works - it is SO helpful to understand.
Back to Fear of Abandonment - part one
Go to Abandonment Issues for more self help. Tell us your fear of abandonment story - and see what others shared
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